Leaving Gracefully After You Have Been Let Go

Companies terminate employees for all kinds of reasons.  Budgets get cut, accounts get lost, new people come and they want their own team; sometimes business is just bad.  Sometimes the cutback is foreseen and occasionally it is a complete surprise. But if you are terminated, for whatever reason you are given, you must leave gracefully. Never lose your temper, no matter how angry you are.

There are two critical factors in a termination.  The first is severance and the second is references.  Both are usually negotiable to some extent.

Most larger companies have policies which govern the amount of severance allowed.  Sometimes an outgoing employee may be able to negotiate for more, depending on the circumstances.  Companies will generally stick by policy, at least initially, but, if pushed, can be persuaded to grant a longer period of pay, especially if they are approached in a friendly, non-confrontational way. 

 

For some senior employees, a friendly, non-threatening lawyer’s letter may do the trick (A lawyer’s letter is a lawyer’s letter, no matter how nicely it is written.  There is always an implicit threat in a letter from a lawyer. However, what is not wanted is to push the company to the wall because the company inevitably has deeper pockets than you do).  The truth is that corporate management actually understands this tactic.

But, in the long run, upon exiting a job, the most important thing may be negotiating for references.  References may determine your ability to get your next job.  Even if you have not liked the job or liked the person you reported to, asking for a reference should be something which every departing employee does, regardless of the circumstances of the termination.

Now, there is actually some legal mumbo-jumbo which, in New York State, prevents a reference of any kind.  The law basically says that you cannot prevent someone from obtaining employment.  So the way companies handle that is that they periodically tell their staff that they may not give references of any kind – good or bad.  Most managers disregard that entirely, especially if they know and like the person asking for the reference. 

However, a departing employee must negotiate with former associates and managers for references, regardless of the corporate policy about giving them. 

The time to do it is while still physically there, if possible.  It is important to have a face-to-face meeting to determine what people will or will not say about your employment and your skills. 

Regardless, it should be done immediately, not weeks or months later.

The one thing which is most essential is not to ever trash the company or its people.  I just heard a story about a gentlemen who was terminated. His firing came as a surprise to him.


So, when he was being terminated, he lost his temper with the president of the company.  Rather than smile as best he could, he proceeded to yell at the president and spew out all the venom which had built up during his employment. The result of the tantrum was that he was not given planned severance and he certainly will not get a good reference. 

I know this happens with some frequency, but allowing your temper to get the best of you, is career suicide.  People have long memories.

The best policy is to swallow hard and suck it up.  Your well-being is at stake.  If, in the case just mentioned, the fired employee had discussed the situation in a calm and friendly manner, he might have been able to determine what would be said to potential employers.

Also remember, while people will call your list of references, they may also just call people not on your reference list, including your previous employer.  And one of the most important references may be your previous company.

Leaving gracefully is smart business.