}

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Adventures In Recruiting: The Worst Cover Letter

My son, Jeff Gumbinner, runs a very successful political direct marketing firm in D.C., Gumbinner & Davies.  He received this cover letter last week.

Remember those visual puzzles from when you were a kid, "How many things can you find wrong with this drawing/picture?"  Well, I was going to mark this letter up, but I thought it would be more fun for you if you counted the number of errors.  How many errors can you find in this letter?  It is printed below verbatim.  Have fun with it.

Re: Resume for [Name withheld]

ATTN: Human Resources

Attached is my resume that outlines my skills and accomplishments over my professional career. I hope that you will find that I have the talent and expertise needed to add value to your organization.

I am very hard working, light hearted professional person who enjoys the since of accomplishment and I always thrive to grow and get better everyday. I know that I would be a valued asset to your company and Sales team.

I think that in order to be great sell person one has to been in tune to his or her clients needs good, bad or indifferent because I believe that’s there is always and opportunity the make that relationship better, strong, faster, LOL sorry had a 6 million dollar man flash back.

A Little bit about me, I am college educated Professional who grew up in a small town in West Virginia, with country morals and big city dreams, my grandparents are my hero’s, my 8 yr old daughters in my joy and my reason to do better and to be better. I end by saying;” where you start in life doesn’t mean that’s where you will end up”.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at the numbers listed below if you have any questions or to schedule an interview. I look forward to speaking with a representative from your company.

Sincerely,

If you have saved funny letters or documents that you would like to share with my readers, please post them or send them to me so that I can share them with my readers.

15 comments:

  1. I think I feel more sad for him than anything.

    And for his parents who probably paid good money to send him to that college.

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  2. I love how the formulaic opening and closing paragraphs are like bookends, holding up the garbage in the middle.

    Ditto Liz. Poor kid.

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  3. Man, I'm such a sucker for a lost cause. I almost want to give him a job. I mean, I wouldn't, but I almost WANT to.

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  4. Boy, 'em WV colleges shore do learn them their students! LOL Sorry, I couldn't resist. ;)

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  5. Also, good thing he doesn't have those city morals.

    Those would be terrible! Especially if you're working for a guy who uh, grew up in the city.

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  6. My favorite direct mail typo of all time -- "Quality, attention to detail and professionalism are attribubes Union Carbide Corporation holds most dear." It's fun to say out loud.

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  7. Anybody who makes a 6 Million Dollar Man reference in a cover letter rules.

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  8. Wow, that was sad. Now I'm concerned for his 8 year old daughter.

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  9. He obviously failed English from first grade to college. It's pretty scary and sad to think that this is what our education system is producing.

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  10. That nails it on West Virginia.

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  11. Anthony DelleCaveJuly 13, 2010 at 5:38 PM

    Sounds like the wacky translations you can get when you run something through babelfish. I bet if have babelfish translate this into another language - say Spanish or Italian - it's probably quite eloquent ;-)

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  12. I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down.!@bose

    Cover Letter

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